I question myself every day about what the next thing to do. You know when you watch a movie pallosissimo and you can not change. My life lately it seems to me that. A film pallosissimo / boring. I do not know why. Or maybe I know. But I do not even want to say. I always wonder what my goal . When my desires realized. When in a nutshell I will be really happy. Now they are not. And to hear those around me I should also stop. I have a good job, that makes me a good income, a nice house, the perfect friends, and family at a safe distance. So why are not you happy?
do not know. That is, I know. But it is not the time to tell. Sex. Sex is an important aspect. In recent years I have done a lot of sex. I discovered, sexually speaking, 30 December 2007, twenty-four years. Relatively late, I probably relatively on time. Not I have repented. At the time I had sex with one with whom I had thought it would not end there. I was wrong, of course. ended there. After the door in my face I decided not to stay more harm. Since then I've done a lot of sex, two, three, four, five. Ok, I arrived at eight. And I'm not ashamed to say. I have come a bendonde, and I must admit that I did not miss anything done.
I have always gone well. But today, even the sex is enough for me anymore. Have you ever felt the need to make love? Love with a capital. Love in the sense that you need to have sex necessarily, but just enough cuddles. Love, in the sense that you can also fight, but you're arguing with the person you love. Love in the sense that you go out and go to dinner with friends, but at 23 you've wanted to go home, because you know that you go back with your love. That's right. Love in the sense that you can just look and give you a hint to understand the other person has understood what you meant.
And if that did not exist? So it feels unnecessary. And I'm there, because there is not. Let's not kid, is in the DNA being human mate and reproduce. Now, there are other ways to breed, to mate but I do not think that I can not do it. Or not? The problem is to be alone. Well I'm not going anymore. I gorged my single status. I got binge. I've abused. And I'm tired . I mean that I will decide whether or not, I'm always alone. And I'm also tired of everything that is said to me in response. The answer listed is: "Love when it comes, comes. We must think, do not you try. "
Believe me. I do not think at all. Except this time at least I never thought of. In fact, a hard man, let me say, there has never been at my side. And then, as straminchia do not think about it? How do you pretend and say that we do not you think? I think . I think about it. Another tip straquotato is: "Have you tried to change the way we do? You know sometimes you just approach in a different way, you're a nice person, determined, intelligent, always in motion. According to me you should see all these aspects of yourself. " But do not you think I've ever tried? According to you I have never tried to change the way they do?
So I made sympathetic, the prankster. I did what I do not care. I made vague. I did the males, who dresses as an alternative and who pays the bill. I did the teenager, and the surface. I did that one night stand, one from long talks and even (and I emphasize) from the beviamoci a beer. I made the kind of a walk in the center, an ice cream in the center, and also in the shopping center. I did what to chat and let us look straight in the eye, what flies, what breaks, what's messaggino good morning, good afternoon and good night. In short, I made each of .
you think is worth? No. There is no good. Brings us to today with a bag full of good things gone wrong. The butterflies I have heard. But after a while 'I am death. Only someone left somewhere along the line. But it was not enough. At the point where I am it is natural to ask, but really what I have wrong? It 'possible that I am a person unbearable. And we can be. Because in some ways they are. But none that I have involves the desire to stay at my side for more than the life of a sex session? E 'possible. At this point I feel a new phase of my life. That is enough for me. In fact, I saddle?
And here I have no words. That is what may seem an insignificant detail, however, I must reconsider. I, I am nothing at all. In anything. I am nothing when I look in the mirror, I am nothing when I go to bed at night. I am nothing even when I decide to go on a diet and do something good for me. I am nothing ever . They are never satisfied with myself and what I do. Never. And this in the long run can only do damage. But the major damage.
I can not be happy with that I have. How do I find one that is happy with me? It 's the point. The dark spot, the black side of me. What first twice I did not say. I'm never satisfied. Never. You're welcome. It 's all boring. Boring even myself. It is important to acknowledge the problem. In fact someone even thinks that it is almost solve the problem. But I how I solve ? I mean I wake up with a smile. I live in Rome, jobs, earning good purpose and I enjoy it and especially I have a crazy blog that goes like hot cakes. And my only goal is not to be happy with everything.
How do I want me to do well by someone else if I can not volermene alone. I do not take care of me in any way. I'm not attentive to the cold, I filled up medicines as if they were candy, I eat poorly and smoke like a loser. In short, where I love you? I say that since September I have to go to the gym, and we are in January and I still have not decided which to score. Well I've never taken care of myself? These are questions to which I shall never find answer, and above all no one will ever give me an answer. So what? I do not know, but I sincerely hope that some of you have at least half the board.
Anyway, my brother bought a tractor with 5,500 €, and I think here is, nevertheless, he is much happier than me. But we realize? A tractor . a fucking tractor.
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